idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
