are you so shy because you have an std?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.