does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off