He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.