If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
