I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
