help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
