Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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