in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
