dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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