"it" just moved
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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