Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
