grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
