She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize