You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
