i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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