he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
