"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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