He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
