in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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