you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Congratulations! We have a period
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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