He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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