A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
