don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
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Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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