I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
