no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
