It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
