I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
