No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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