She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
