ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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