ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize