You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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