i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
