@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
