D3 body, D1 cock
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
