I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
