I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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