I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
