it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
