she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
