dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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