you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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