The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
