JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
