Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
