"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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