End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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