I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
