she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up under a house in Key West
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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