Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
