in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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