Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
