im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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