I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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