it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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