It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
