with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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