im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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