I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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