All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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