the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
