Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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