OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
