you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
