No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
