no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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