Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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