There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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