I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I love you.
Bad choice
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